You all, fools: *getting tattoos based on the ancient tattoos they find on bog mummies and the other ancient dead that for all you know will bind you to a forgotten god that now by all rights has a claim on your life for better or for worse*
Me, and intellectual: *doesnt fucking do that*
A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse than I am currently running it myself.
Zagreus: Father, I am curious. In all of my expeditions into the underworld I have never once encountered the legendary hero Bophades. Would you happen to know where he is?
Hades: Foolish boy, do not trifle me with such matters. I have never heard of such a man and I am personally responsible for every shade that enters this accursed place. Who, or what, pray tell, is Bophades.